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Ever Wonder What You Are Doing?

3/9/2016

 
  I am at that place where I wonder what the hell I am doing. I have all of these fish tanks with fish that I love, but they have become shackles. I can't leave the house for more than a day because the tiny baby fish simply won't survive without regular feedings. And, to be honest, I really need to be home to feed the youngsters between three and four times a day. To top it off, when I manage to grow the fry out to salable size without any hick-ups, I often don't get much of a return on my efforts.
  I think maybe I am reaching that point where I realize that I have warped my hobby by trying to make money off of it - which I really don't. I used to keep fish because I was awed by them. I still am, but that used to be the only reason I kept them. Now it is just one of the reasons and hardly justifies the amount of effort and money I sink into my fish.
  I would like to be a writer of fiction. That is a full time job. To be successful at it you have to write religiously. I simply can't manage it with the fish. When they aren't requiring my attention, they manage to steal it away anyhow. I can't be around a bunch of fish and not get distracted by them. They are naturally captivating.
  Add to this the fact that I am still single. I would like to get married someday. Sooner rather than later. The fish are an obstacle. I can't just ignore them.
  I am torn. Part of me cries out to leave them behind and move on with my life, fish free. Another part gazes at these beautiful creations and says, "Don't do it! You'll regret it!" I might. I probably will. I am on the edge. One step forward or two steps back? I don't know which way to go.
  Included are two videos exhibiting reasons why I find it difficult to walk away.
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